


Dear ImpulseSV

by Rayvee



Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Legacy SMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, He's been through Hels, Helspule writes a series of letters to our Impulse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, In later chapters - Freeform, Or Helspulse, Tag wranglers stop tagging Hermitcraft as RPF challenge, The main character is Evil Impulse, This is literally just a series of letters, and he's never experienced nice things before, he's had a rough time, letter writing, or whatever he's called
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29892573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rayvee/pseuds/Rayvee
Summary: Dear ImpulseSV,I don't know why I'm doing this. I really don't.Oh, that's right. Bribery. I'm being bribed to do this....I'm so glad you're never going to see these.-ImpulseVS, The Living Embodiment of All Your Flaws and Failings (Or Something)
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

Dear ImpulseSV,

I’m not sure what the point of this is. For some reason NashCrafter got it in her head that I should keep a “journal of my thoughts and feelings.” I refused, pointing out I’ve never had a journal in my life and have no inclination to start now, and somehow this evolved into “writing [someone] letters that they’ll never actually see.” I would’ve refused that too, but PythonGB and PearlescentMoon said they’d take me End busting if I agreed, which is blatant bribery and I should probably refuse on principle. But apparently there’s good loot in the End. Diamond gear and whatnot. So. Here we are.

This is a one-off, for the record. I don’t know  _ what  _ NashCrafter thinks when she says I should do it regularly. I don’t know why she thinks I should do this at all, actually.  _ Something something therapy _ . Not really sure what that is. Pointless, probably.

So. How have you been doing? Cool. I don’t give a fuck. You’re not even going to see this.  
I’ve been fine, I guess. I don’t know. I have a hole under a mountain a way out from spawn. The Legates haven’t found it.  
I’m on Legacy SMP. I’m a Legate too, I guess. Or something. I don’t know. They’re weirdos, the lot of them. Seriously? Communal resources? Who does that?

They’re really weird about names, too. They don’t like calling me  _ Impulse _ , for some reason, but they don’t like using the names your lot came up with either.  _ Helspulse  _ and  _ Evil Impulse _ and whatever else (I’m not too fond of them either, to be frank. I’m fully aware I’m the living embodiment of your flaws and failures, you don’t have to rub it in). This has the lovely effect of them not having anything to call me by, which can get pretty entertaining right until the bit where they resort to stupid nicknames. I’ve taken to not answering to any of them. Look, if Viggoman wants my attention, Viggoman is going to have to learn that my name is not  __ Sparky.   
So there’s that, I guess.   
Whatever.

-ImpulseVS, The Guy Who Kidnapped You And Took Over Your Life For A Couple Weeks That One Time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was procrastinating on my English Assessment and produced this instead.  
> This probably doesn't really make much _sense_ to anyone other than me, but I wrote this for me anyway.  
> I don't normally write in first-person, but it seems that letter-writing is the exception. Okay then.
> 
> I actually have like eight letters written and am halfway through the ninth, because I was _really_ procrastinating. Turned out all I needed to do with the Assessment was scrap it all and start over, so the first draft of _that_ is finally done, thank goodness.
> 
> Oh, and how is it spelled? Legalates? Legalites? Can someone please let me know so I can edit it if I'm wrong?  
> Edit: Legates! Thank you SilverWolf 53!


	2. Chapter 2

Dear ImpulseSV,

You know how I said that letter was a one-off?  
So  _ that  _ was a fucking lie.  
Speaking of which, apparently Legacy SMP is a “family-friendly server'' (despite there being no families here) and I need to “stop swearing.” Which, rude. I don’t cuss  _ that  _ much, PythonGB, fuck  _ off _ .  
So ZloyXP said he’d teach me to curse in Russian if I made another one of these. Which, fine, whatever. I can deal with that.

Skizzleman has figured out which mountain I live under, so that’s fun. I don’t  _ think  _ he’s told anyone else where I am? He hasn’t actually found my hole, though he’s been looking. I could probably move before he finds it. Skizzleman has far too much time on his hands, in my opinion. He’s a friend of yours, isn’t he? Is that why he won’t leave well enough alone?

ZloyXP also said something about a failed hit on PythonGB. Something about stealing wood? I actually carried it out- successfully, of course- and he gave me a Netherite Ingot. Then PearlescentMoon put out a hit on ZloyXP because he stole her Elytra or something. So now I have two Netherite Ingots and a new job as the server’s resident hitman, apparently.

You know, Hels isn’t actually called Hels. I think the reason you guys all believe that is because the first time you heard of it you got the name from Helsknight, who’s a right narcissist. Thing is, it doesn’t really have a name, and it probably never will. Even if you did manage to get all the Denizens together (without killing each other) long enough to decide on a name, we’d never get along long enough to agree on it. And even on the very,  _ very _ low chance we did, half the people wouldn’t be using it by the end of the week.  
If you were wondering: AngelCleo calls it Home, Disco calls it the Nether, Evil Xisuma calls it the Void and I call it terrible.  
The others have their own names, too, but I don’t really care.

Other worlds are weird.  
Or maybe other worlds are normal, and it’s mine that’s weird. I don’t know. The sheep don’t try to kill you here? They don’t even have horns? I mean, I’m not  _ complaining  _ that the wildlife isn’t actively trying to kill me, it’s just weird.  
Also, your zombies are kind of pathetic.  
Speaking of which, ZloyXP’s here. So I guess I’ll cut this off here. Not that I have anything else to say, really.

-ImpulseVS, The Apparent Local Hitman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zloy is a bad influence, but we already knew that.
> 
> It always struck me as odd that Hels is called Hels, presumably after Helsknight, even though presumably it existed before he did, and it doesn't really make much sense it would be named after one of the players anyway.   
> So here's my explanation for that: it isn't. _Helsknight_ says it's called Hels, but Helsknight says a lot of things. He's not the most reliable of narrators.  
> Neither is Helspulse, to be honest.


	3. Chapter 3

Dear ImpulseSV,

I’m pretty sure they’re conspiring to make sure I write one of these every week. The upside is I get free shit out of it. Or not, because apparently if I do this one I get to kill a dragon. 

I’ve never actually killed a dragon before. Apparently they’re pushovers, which. No. No, they aren’t. Or maybe it’s just the one from my homeworld… which I should actually properly name, huh? I was being sarcastic when I said I called it terrible. I was not being sarcastic when I said it was terrible. It was. Is. Whichever.  
It’s probably just my homeworld’s dragon, to be honest. Considering your chickens don’t even have proper _claws_.  
Skizzleman says it’s weird I’ve never killed a dragon before. I say, has he ever  _ seen  _ a dragon before? I think we’re thinking of different dragons. Apparently they don't normally breathe fire. We’re definitely thinking of different dragons.

I didn’t wind up moving out of my hole. Skizzleman is worse at finding holes than I first realised, it seems. Also I guess the mountain is kind of my territory? I’ve never actually held territory before. What do I do with it.  
I made the hole larger, if you were wondering. You probably weren’t.

ZloyXP seems to find it hilarious that I don’t hesitate when asked to kill someone. Why would I bother thinking about it? I kill someone, I get a reward (usually a Netherite Ingot), I move on. There’s not much to think  _ about,  _ especially considering that everyone can see chat when they put in requests, so I don’t get blamed for it.   
He’s started calling me “He Who Doesn't Hesitate.” I’ve been letting him. I probably shouldn't.

Also, people keep telling me to sleep. Apparently sleeping once a week is bad for my health or something? Look, I- look. Where I’m from, being ‘healthy’ just means you aren’t dead and you have all your limbs. Here, people keep trying to feed me. None of it’s even poisoned. I don’t get it.

You know, nobody actually reads these things. I could honestly say whatever I wanted and nobody would ever know.   
...Huh.

Well, I’ve got a dragon to murder.

-ImpulseVS, He Who Doesn’t Hesitate (According to ZloyXP).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got my English assessment done, finally. I can't decide which I hate more: reflections or word counts. I always go over and have to cull like twenty words _but they're all important_ -  
> So glad I don't have to deal with them on the regular.
> 
> I'm not sure if it'll be explained or not, but if it is it won't be for a while: Helspulse escaped Hels, and, only having knowledge of Hermitcraft from EX and Helsknight, decided the best course of action would be to kidnap Impulse and take his place. Helspulse has some weird, slightly complicated shapeshifting abilities, so after stalking Impy for a month or so, managed to actually pull it off for about two weeks. When he was caught/exposed (by a Zedaph who is far more observant than Helspulse gave him credit for), he panicked and bolted, resulting in a merry chase through the Nether where he almost managed to escape, because again, weird shapeshifting powers. The subsequent fight involved (a rightfully pissed) Tango, Grian (who'd been the only one capable of keeping up during the chase), Xisuma (in Stridesuma form; he'd pulled Helspulse out of the lava where he'd been hiding), and Iskall (who happened to be mining for quartz nearby and who's help was much appreciated). At one point, Helspulse's arm wound up getting broken by Iskall (by accident), but being from Hels he kept going until X managed to knock him unconscious. Fun!
> 
> Despite Helspulse's actions, the Hermits aren't cruel enough to send him back to a place like Hels with a broken arm and probable concussion, so they decide to hold him until he's healed. There was a lot of work put into building a prison that could actually _hold_ a shapeshifter with no understanding of self-care beyond 'not being dead' who assumes everything is poisoned and refuses to sleep, so he doesn't exactly heal _quickly_.
> 
> Naturally, Skizzleman gets to hear the full story next time he sees the rest of Team ZITS, and of _course_ he mentions it to the other Legates when he returns there. Someone jokes about giving him therapy instead of sending him back to Hels, one thing leads to another, and now the Legates are in varying degrees of on board with this idea.  
> Of course, there's a good chance that the Hermits... wouldn't let them. Skizz recalls the _anger_ Tango had over the situation, Pearl talks to Grian and finds he's actually quite scared of Helspulse (which is honestly justified), and when Python asks Xisuma about it, he finds the admin's basically given up when it comes to Hels. Conveniently, none of them actually _tell_ the Hermits they want to give the kidnapping shapeshifter therapy, so there's that.  
> Helspulse's arm is healing, and time is running out. Zloy suggests the obvious solution: human trafficking.
> 
> The team:   
> -Skizzleman, who knows Impulse the best out of all of them and therefore has some idea what to expect from his evil clone.  
> -PearlescentMoon, who has access to a (somewhat outdated but still useful) world download from helping Grian design his mansion.  
> -ZloyXP, who's seen so much footage of the server he probably knows his way around better than half the whitelist.  
> -and PythonGB, who's actually _allowed_ on the server and as such is the one to actually pull the 'heist' off.
> 
> Timing it so he'd arrive in the middle of the night, Python grabs an elytra from the spawn, goes out, formally invites Helspulse to Legacy SMP (who accepts, because what else is he going to do?), brings him to the server, then goes back and returns the elytra because, despite participating in literal human trafficking, Python has a very strong moral code.
> 
> Somehow, the entire server was actually sleeping as this went on, except for Cleo, because zombies don't sleep. She'll keep her mouth shut, though (Mostly. She can't hide anything from Joe). Besides, if the Legates can actually pull it off with Helspulse, maybe they could figure out how to do it with others. And if not... well, she'll spill the beans if she absolutely has to.
> 
> This has been: Infodumping with Rayvee! As always, it was not meant to run this long! I have no capacity for remorse! Have a nice day/night!


	4. Chapter 4

Dear ImpulseSV,

Looks like I’m right.  
This week’s bribe: redstone lessons with LogicalGeekBoy. Apparently bluestone isn’t a thing here? I’m guessing that this redstone stuff is like bluestone but eight times less annoying and mostly guaranteed to not kill me. I’m going off previous patterns, here.  
ZloyXP thinks it’s funny that I am...  _ wary  _ of bats. One day, I’ll introduce him to the variety I’m familiar with. See how  _ he  _ likes it. Zombies are quite flammable, aren’t they?  
Fire-breathing bats in the catacombs. Sounds like a plan. Can you breed bats? I’ll have to look into that.

I can now officially say I’ve killed a dragon, which is one more than all the other Denizens put together. Honestly, considering the sort of people the Denizens are, you’d think someone would’ve killed ours by now. Of course, the elytra from there are probably sentient and determined to pitch their user into the nearest acid lake or something. Who fucking knows.  
ZloyXP did teach me those swear words, by the way. NashCrafter ordered a hit on him for it. I don’t know how to  _ write  _ in Russian, though, so you’re stuck with the boring English versions.

People have latched onto the whole “He Who Doesn’t Hesitate” thing. Skizzleman has shortened it to “Hesitate”, so there’s that. PoptartKatze has picked up on it. It’s alright, I guess.

You know what? Maybe Hels  _ is  _ a good name for my homeworld. It’s the closest you can get to Hell without  _ actually  _ being in Hell. And it’ll take less explaining than any other name I can come up with.  
Viggoman and ZloyXP have left a jukebox and some music discs. I’m not really sure why. One of the discs is called  _ Diabolical.  _ I can hear Helsknight being dragged through the mud in real-time.  
Beautiful.

Well, I have a redstone lesson to get to. Ta-ta!

-ImpulseVS, Certified Dragon Slayer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone is rather pleased about killing his first dragon. As he should be.
> 
> This is the second fic involving Minecraft bats actually doing something. I know it isn't much, but honestly bats are amazing and their in-game counterparts are such a letdown.
> 
> And look! Angsty boy's starting to get a new name! I can stop calling him Helspulse now!


	5. Chapter 5

Dear ImpulseSV,

What. The.  FUCK .  
This is  _ insulting _ . You’re telling me redstone is actually that simple?! You just… no struggle? No anything?! It doesn’t spontaneously explode? It doesn’t get randomly powered or depowered by Very Specific Completely Random Blocks? I just  _ [angry scribble tearing through the page] _

Let me tell you about Bluestone, you entitled prick. With Bluestone, you have  _ no idea  _ what powers it. Specific Blocks in Specific Places do, but which one depends on the alignment of the stars, how many centimetres are between Venus and Jupiter, and what some random lady in Croatia had for breakfast this morning.

**_DID I MENTION HELS IS ENTIRELY UNDERGROUND?!_ **

Oh, and more common are the sections where Specific Places just...depower it. And there’s no way to  _ force  _ them to be powered, so you just have to move the circuit around. Oh, and these dead spots can vary from a single block to  **_ENTIRE CHUNKS.  
_ ** _ [Another, larger angry scribble, involving a decent chunk of the page boing torn out] _

Honestly, I don’t know why LogicalGeekBoy was even bothering. I just- I’m  _ you _ . I’m you without the good parts. I’m you without the patience, the filter, the morals, the kindness.  _ I embody all your evil,  _ as Welsknight puts it. 

…

I’ve never experienced claustrophobia before. But this this hole is small tiny too small.  
Fuck it. I’m expanding. I need something to do. I need something to break.

-ImpulseVS. You But Worse.


	6. Chapter 6

Dear ImpulseSV,

I’m so glad you’ll never see these things. I’m so glad nobody will ever see these things. I’ve calmed down a bit, I guess.  
Last week’s bribe was a trident, which- I’ve always liked tridents. They’re fast. Flexible.  
You can use them to climb, too- and I’m not talking about Riptide. I just- I learned this trick a while ago. You throw it, have it stick into a block, and you’ve got a handhold. Move fast enough, and you can kick off the wall, grab it, use momentum to launch you up, kick off the trident, and then maybe kick off the wall again. I’ve gotten pretty high pretty fast with that trick.  
This week’s bribe is building lessons with PearlescentMoon.

I’ve been doing a lot of digging. Got myself a beacon, finally. Got the skulls the traditional way. Not very efficient, but I needed to kill things. And, quite frankly, your Wither Skeletons are kind of pathetic. They can’t even figure out how to bend over. Weak.

Skizzleman says it’s weird I keep borrowing other people’s forms. He thinks I should spend some time in my own body, or something. Some of the other Legates agree with him.  
I look like you, but worse. I  _ am  _ you, but worse.  
I don’t- you don’t live in Hels without amassing scars. And mine are- they’re _dark_. Prominent. Noticeable.  
I don’t want them to see the place where the Doctor nearly stabbed my eye out, or the way I look like I’ve got fucking gills from True and Iskall and Cleo trying to take my head off, or the place where the Watcher impaled my leg straight through, or the damn  _ gloves  _ of scar patterns that reach to my elbows. I don’t want them to see how I’m so fucking skinny I can count my own ribs, because I haven’t had a decent meal until I escaped. I don’t want them to see my eyes, which are wrong so wrong _why are they like that._ I don’t want-  
I’m not human. There. I’ve said it. I’m not human. I used to be, once. I think. I don’t know.   
I don’t want them to see the way my scars glow, light up, pulse, because [massive dark scribble, obscuring any words underneath. It doesn’t go through the page this time. It’s more carefully done, not made of anger like before, but of a desire to hide the words beneath.]

...I think I’ll dig to bedrock. It’s a cylinder right now. I think I’ll keep it that way. Maybe have it go straight through the mountain. I don’t know. I don’t know.

-ImpulseVS. Or Hesitate, depending on who you ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww, baby's first moment of proper emotional vulnerability. About time.
> 
> I should probably clarify: Hesitate has weird shapeshifting powers- he can shift his form to match any player that he's gotten a good enough look at. Voice as well. It's always a complete transformation, though he can revert his eyes at will. He'll be forced back into his real form if he's asleep, had his totem popped (that totem has as much lore as Hez does, by the way), or killed.  
> Hesitate's shapeshifting is the reason he was able to take Impulse's place. He's a surprisingly good actor, to the point where it can be extremely hard to tell him from the original if he's gotten enough time to figure them out.  
> Back in Hels, Hez spent most of his time shapeshifted; it was rare he'd willingly revert back to his real form. While he's safe now, old habits die hard, especially if they've saved your life time and time again.  
> There's also a self-conscious aspect to it; while Hez naturally looks very similar to Impulse, he scars easily and they're always very dark and prominent. Also they glow sometimes for extremely complicated reasons. His skin is pale from living underground his whole life (he sunburns _stupidly easily_ , and he's skinnier than a twig from not having a decent meal basically ever. You can physically see his ribs under his shirt, even after spending what would be about a month by now with the Legates. He hates pity, and the fact you can see the outline of his bones always brings it full-force.
> 
> He's a mess.


End file.
